Branded Tortoise Computers

The computers are just too slow. like really really slow, cause of the virus. the lab attendant said that due to power failure combined with UPS failing the anti-virus servers went down. when the next day computers were switched on, the virus had breached the walls and now it couldn’t be removed using the anti-virus from within the system. The only way is for the computers to be formatted.

At such a crucial point where the reports are in bulk, the technological infrastructure failing in the leading business school just prepares you for real life.

No Printer Working

Four printers in IBA and when there is such a load of reports due towards the end of the semester we see the structure failing the students. So we see here that the students of IBA outperform even machines. “are we game or are we game??”

anyways so the situation at around ten was like one printer in library working in the whole of IBA and we see it going into strain of catering to an average of 20 copies per student. at eleven we see that printing going down. somehow some other printer started working somehow the load shifted. but the whole point is why are the rest of the printers not working.

BEHIND BARS… LITERALLY

Looks like an animal caged in right. Or if you have had the chance of reading “The Bartimaeus Triology” by Jonathan Stroud , then you can speculate it to be a genie trapped within the cage, whom the magicians call upon to do their bidding, i.e. project for them the images on the white board:P

Anyways, the scoop on this is that somebody somewhere (either of the campuses) was desperate enough to steal one of them. So the count of stolen projector stands at two at the moment. So they decide they should put it behind bars… for its own safety.

Destroys the aesthetics of the class room, if it had any. Not that anyone actually cares if the class room looks good or not. No one really cares if the false ceiling is open in the middle or if the welding job is done poorly, or that it looks bulky protruding in the middle. Destroys the aura and the flow of a wide classroom. Though credit should be given that the grill was painted white.There are reports of one of these cages being broken and a piece of string used to secure the latch. Probably the projector wanted to run away. More of a safety hazard than a protection for the defenseless projectors.

Among other reported uses of these cages are:

1. Students can use it for hanging from the ceiling.
2. Its an efficient duster holder
3. Books can be contained in the cage (cruelty against books group is filing a report regarding this)
4. In case the projector falls, its fall will be a small one, i.e. it will land only on the grill and not the floor.
5. An object of sheer fascination during a boring lecture.
6. It can be used to hang displays during a presentation
7. It can be used to hang your coat hangers
8. It can be used to pull you up so you can actually hide in the false ceiling
9. if you are six inches high, you can actually have a cage match in it. it would be awesome dangling so high in the air in a cage. massive veiwership i must say

 Disclaimer
Don’t try any of the above. Criticiba will not be held accountable or responsible in any sort of way if you do, you ll do such stupid acts out of your own stupidity and not because its mentioned here.

 
On a serious note,instead of using the traditional method of putting up the cage they could have just been ultra techno and RFIDed the equipment. They would even have had caught the person who stole it.

THE VIRUS WE KNOW AS A CONSTANT

meet brontok.

[brontok code]

Brontok has been living in IBA since it came into the world and it has been updating itself since then. I don’t know about other universities but the IT Dept over here just loves this virus or they would have just removed it and taken precautionary measures against further infections and the virus loves reproducing so it copies itself into every USB that gets attached to a PC on the network and subsequently into students personal PC. In short if you have not yet been infected by Brontok or any of its variants, you don’t study in IBA.

If you see a system without it, kindly insert your usb, and you ll spread it.

PRECAUTIONARY INSTRUCTIONS:

1. create restore points before infection periodically. See help on how to create a restore point. If infected, press F8 and load under safe mode, select no on the dialogue box and press yes from now onwards, when asked which restore point to use, select the most recent one, where you know the virus didn’t exist in your pc

2. in case you are already infected, have the latest virus definition and scan the pc. If you don’t detect the virus, contact some experienced brontok handler to help you.

THE TECHNICAL INCOMPETENCE STAFF

So we are in the lab, the other day and the teacher asks the lab attendant to attach her laptop to the projector. He tries everything and anything after attaching the cord and the screen just would turn on. Now after like two three minutes, guess what the other lab attendant whispers. “leave it, tell her the multimedia doesn’t connect laptops” and the first lab attendant says “ this projector has a problem, it has not been working with laptops for the past few days”. Now you can talk about feeding the teacher a load of crap , but this was insane. So I get up and take a look at the laptop and guess what. he had not even bothered turning it on. Let alone shift the screen to dual mode. The teacher had asked them to install a certain program on the systems in the lab but that didn’t take place and they kept coming up with various excuses for the delay. I wonder where is IBA getting its human resource from. Instead of helping the students they usually sit around and do nothing than chat among themselves. But that doesn’t mean that every time they do that, sometimes you would see

The other day I heard a student complaining about the lab staff snooping in on conversations taking place on the network. I wonder how secure the network is in IBA. So next time you chatting on msn messenger, just keep in mind that your conversations aren’t as secure as you think they are